More natural than you think, awkwardness seems merely a social construct based on unnatural norms that we humans have created…but why do we have physical subconscious reactions to it—face reddening, heartbeat rising, even sweaty hands? Well, believe it or not, awkwardness triggers the same part of your brain that makes you “fight or flight”. Fortunately, like facing your fears, you can face awkwardness, a general unnecessary emotion. Just like a fear, the best way to get over it is to face it. Emerging from silence, stemming from an unspoken taboo, an elephant in the room, something awkward is mutually acknowledged but not addressed. The silence is loud.

Defeating it starts with sociability and mental toughness. To face awkwardness you need to speak up, and to speak up you need to push past the silence and say what needs to be said. Dr. Susan Amatangelo, an Italian professor at the College of the Holy Cross, says “When my students are slow to respond to a question, I have a few strategies to help them overcome their awkwardness”, the most prominent being breaking the silence; “I rephrase the question […] breaking it down into parts if necessary.” It is key to make sure there is no miscommunication, and especially important to keep the fear of embarrassment low by avoiding an intense lack of speaking. Big groups can especially be awkward as the perception of awkwardness, when communal, is harder to break. Dr. Amatangelo recognizes this, emphasizing that, if necessary, she will “put [her students] into small groups and ask them to discuss a possible response together.” The smaller the group, the lesser intensity of awkwardness, allowing students to break the silence on their own and progress the class.

Unspoken norms control our communications and interactions, however some are important to follow and others are not. Chewing with your mouth open, for example, is disgusting, and you shouldn’t do it. It shouldn’t have to be addressed. On the other hand, silence in a room of people who should be talking is harmless. It’s undoubtedly an issue, but not a necessary one. Therefore, it is safe to address it. Addressing things forces them into the light; it not only creates talking points, but ones that already apply to everyone involved. Even if one of them may be difficult to say out loud, the sooner it is brought up, the sooner it can end.