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How to Procrastinate

How+to+Procrastinate

Procrastination, often viewed as a hindrance to productivity, can ironically, become a skill with practice. It is a skill that I have been perfecting ever since I was a little kid. Putting off something until the last minute was my specialty. If you don’t want a lot of anxiety and stress from cramming everything to the very last minute, I do not recommend such actions. If you do not care whatsoever about the repercussions one might face from undergoing this activity, then I will teach these steps until it is your second nature.

 

Step 1: Find a Task to Avoid

The first step to greatness is to have a task that you should be working on. It could be a work assignment, household chores, or a personal project. The more important and urgent the better. 

 

Step 2: Create Distractions

To successfully procrastinate, surround yourself with distractions:

  • Smartphone: Keep your smartphone nearby, and make sure notifications are on for every app. Aimlessly scroll through social media, watch YouTube videos, or play mobile games.
  • Television: Turn on the TV, find a show or movie you’ve seen a hundred times, and settle in for a binge-watching session.
  • Snacks: Stock up on your favorite snacks and drinks to make sure you have something to munch on while you procrastinate.

Make sure that this task isn’t something that can last a short amount of time. The more you are invested in this new activity the better. Make this your new number 1 priority. Completely lose focus of what was important and really aim to divert all your attention.

 

Step 3: Justify Your Procrastination

It’s crucial to have convincing excuses for your procrastination:

  • Tell Yourself You Need a Break: Convince yourself that you’ve been working hard lately and deserve a break.
  • Claim Lack of Inspiration: Say you can’t work on the task because you’re not feeling inspired right now.
  • Defer Responsibility: Pretend that you’ll do it later, and that it’s not due for a while, even if it’s not true.

This is one of the most important steps. You need to completely convince yourself this is the right thing to do, that it is necessary you take this break, that you deserve this break. Even though you convinced yourself, 9 out of 10 times you don’t actually deserve any of it.

 

Step 4: Engage in Time-Wasting Activities

The heart of procrastination lies in indulging in time-wasting activities. Doing something that will drown out the voice in your head telling you that you need to complete this assignment or project, is what you will strive for. Doing the things listed below is a sure fire way of accomplishing this.

  • Online Shopping: Spend hours looking for things you don’t need on various online shopping websites.
  • Random Web Surfing: Open multiple tabs in your web browser and click on articles and websites that have nothing to do with your task.
  • Socialize: Call or text friends and engage in lengthy conversations about anything but your task.

 

Step 5: Start Panic-Working (Eventually)

As your deadline approaches, this is where all the fun will begin. You’ll likely experience a surge of anxiety and guilt. Use this as a motivation trigger to start working:

  • Last-Minute Rush: Begin the task at the last possible moment when the pressure is high and the clock is ticking.
  • Cramming: Attempt to complete the task as quickly as possible, often sacrificing quality for speed.

If you don’t manage to put off at least one assignment, thinking that you will do it in the future, then you have not done step number 5 correctly. It has been statistically proven by an individual called no one that cramming will create resilience when it comes to completing tasks. The more you partake in cramming, the more your tolerance grows to not being able to complete your work on time.

 

Step 6: Repeat

After successfully procrastinating on one task, it’s important to keep the cycle going. Finding new tasks to put off is vital. Procrastination is not a one time thing, it is a goal mastered over years of training and discipline. If you stick to the process, completing all 6 of these steps, you will have succeeded.

 

If you are adamant on putting off work until the very last minute, allowing yourself to indulge in life with the feeling that you haven’t accomplished your tasks, then procrastination is the way for you. Even though it causes stress, you need a little stress to allow for mental toughness!. To be able to succeed in a highly stressful environment is a life skill you will want when getting out into the real world. Not many people can say they were taught by such a great teacher to make their life just a tad bit worse. Don’t resist the urge to procrastinate and stay focused on putting off things that might be important to your growth.

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