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The Colonel Chronicle


The Colonel Chronicle

The Colonel Chronicle

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Why Being Late is a Good Thing


Let me share my expertise of being fashionably late. Punctuality is so overrated – so, follow my lead and embrace the world of perpetual tardiness.

I like to see time as my own personal playground. Being late is my way of asserting dominance over the clock. When my teacher Ms. Vaidya expects me to be on time for physics class, I graciously show up late to remind her that time is nothing but a concept.

Crafting excuses is an essential skill. I once blamed my tardiness on a rogue flamingo invasion in my backyard. No one questioned it because, well, who can argue with flamingos?

I thrive on the thrill of last-minute rushes. Nothing says “I’m too cool for schedules” like frantically searching for my English book minutes before Ms. Ledoux’s class begins.

Create a world of unpredictability. Tell your friends you were trapped in a time warp while searching for your left shoe. They’ll have no choice but to admire your adventurous spirit.

When Coach Wheeler asks why you’re late, casually mention that you were “just around the corner” when, in reality, you were still in the middle of snacking and couldn’t pull yourself away from your delicious almonds.

If all else fails, blame cosmic forces. Tell everyone that the universe conspired against you by shifting the space-time continuum. It’s not your fault; it’s the cosmos!

When you finally arrive, make sure to enter the room like a superstar. Give them a taste of your unparalleled fashion sense and charisma. Who cares if you’re late? You’ve got style!

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  • M

    MohammadNov 9, 2023 at 7:24 pm

    Dang, that’s crazy. Great story but lying isn’t cool. Being on time shows your teacher that you are interested in what they are talking about. It also gives off that a person is being a professional when they are on time and they get their work on time. Teachers already have a hard job, for you to be late to their class, and be nice to them is rude.

  • M

    Ms. VNov 9, 2023 at 7:07 pm

    Need to start paying more attention! Didn’t think you were ever late!